Rate My Girlfriend

Zane Jones has a simple 5-star rating system for girlfriends. I don’t agree with them, hell not in comparison with my own values but they’re good and here they are:

  1. No way, no how!
  2. In your room, by yourself after you’ve finished crying
  3. Introduce her to your friends
  4. Show her off at a party
  5. Anywhere, any time!

Note: Under absolutely no circumstances can you tell the girl what her rating is, without risking that the universe spontaniously combusts.

Removing HP QuickPlay from Pavilion with Vista

HP have failed miserably with its QuickPlay entertainment suite integrated in all HP Pavilion models. Do as I have and just dump it.

HP QuickPlay

Don’t slam HP too quick though, you may be reinstalling QuickPlay sooner that you think… the concept behind QuickPlay allows consumers to use their laptop in alternate “modes”, to play music CDs, DVD movies, and MP3s stored on the hard drive in a separate Linux partition without booting to the main operating system.

It’s a handy feature from HP and has been working merrily until Windows Vista was released and presented new compatibility issues, which unfortunately does not provide users with instant access to the software. Which brings us to why I’ve removed QuickPlay from Vista, if you have to be logged in to use QuickPlay you might as well run Windows Media Center which is optimised for Vista. Other reasons to ditch QuickPlay in Vista is it’s slow, takes up to 10 seconds to shutdown the session and eats a small village of system resources!

Remove HP QuickPlay from Vista by doing the following…

  1. From the Start menu, click on Run
  2. Type “msconfig” to open the Windows System Configuration
  3. Swap to the Startup tab
  4. Uncheck “HP QuickPlay” and “HP Quick launch buttons” from the list of applications that run at Windows Startup.
  5. Press OK and restart your computer

I hope HP respond to this criticism and release a better product for HP Pavilion consumers.

Default Trixbox Flash operator panel password

The default password for the Flash operator panel in Trixbox is “passw0rd“, be sure to include the zero character.

To change the password from it’s system default do the following:

  1. Open the configuration file op_server.cfg within /var/www/html/panel.
  2. Locate the line with “security_code=passw0rd”
  3. Replace the value of security_code with your desired password
  4. Press CTRL-X to exit and the Y key to save changes
  5. Restart Trixbox

Easy way to identify your graphics card in Windows

One of my common Windows XP/Vista shortcuts that can be performed over the phone is finding out what graphics card/display adapter is installed on the clients computer.

Clients using Windows XP

  1. On the Desktop, right click and select Properties
  2. Swap to the Settings tab
  3. Below the active screen diagram ask the client to state the name of the graphics card starting with the name of the manufacturer (eg. ATI, nVidia, etc.)

That’s it.

Clients using Windows Vista

  1. On the Desktop, right click and select Personalize
  2. Select Display Settings from the list under Personalize appearance and sounds
  3. Below the active screen diagram ask the client to state the name of the graphics card starting with the name of the manufacturer (eg. ATI, nVidea, etc.)

That’s it.

HP Pavilion Entertainment PC dv2700

I’ve had 3 days with my new laptop and am impressed by the quality, performance and functionality of the new HP Pavilion dv2000 series.

HP Pavilion Entertainment PC dv2700

HP have always been a “sub-par” mass-producer of stock personal computers, worse even than Dell, ever since their acquisition of Compaq which incidentally was one of my first home computers. But, given a few years of development it seems evident HP have cleaned up their reputation having done extremely well out of the production of this and other high-end HP Pavilion models. My HP Pavilion dv2700 is a definite keeper!

For life on the go, you need a light, powerful notebook computer built with your media and mobility in mind.

HP hit the mark on this statement with the following features:

  • Vista Home Premium
    Get work done, and when you’re not doing that relax in style with the new Windows Media Center that comes packaged with Vista.
  • Fingerprint reader
    Great for identifying yourself (assign anyone of your four programmed fingers to log you in) and other users at start-up.
  • Media Center remote control
    Save your back the stress of changing the video or song playing by whipping out the included remote control, be up to 10m away and within line of sight to make best use of this little beast.
  • Dual-headphone jack
    Playing your favourite track on the train and want to share the tune with your best friend, plug in a second headphone and kick off your very own headphone party!
  • Touch-style media controls
    The media player buttons above the navigation are touch-based, just tap the surface to action the command. After experiments at the office you cannot change the track by flicking rubberbands at the next button, you actually have to ‘press’ it with your finger. Cool!

Overall, a sweet purchase for under $1800 AUD and one I can without reservation recommend for light-medium demand mobility users. Also, in case I missed anything here are a list of killer features from HP.

  • Dual-core processing with Intel’s® Centrino® Duo Mobile Technology or AMD’s Turion™ 64 x2 Mobile Technology
  • Intel® wireless technology with WWAN
  • Built-in 1.3-megapixel webcam
  • HP QuickPlay
  • Optional fingerprint authentication technology
  • Optional broadband connectivity—without a hotspot—with the Verizon Wireless V740 1XEVDO PC ExpressCard.**

Flight of the Conchords

The New Zealand comedy pair Flight of the Conchords regularly transcend space, time and beyond in their bizarre and often dry efforts at contemporary humour.

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The Square Root of 3

Straight from Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay…

I fear that I will always be,
A lonely number like root three,
A three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath a vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine
For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic
I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321

Such is my reality, a sad irrationality
When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three
Has quietly come waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer
We break free from our mortal bonds
And with a wave of magic wands
Our square root signs become unglued
And love for me has been renewed.

Homemade Ford balloon ad

Watch the Boeing Cortina take off and float away!

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Kudos go out to Patrick Nufer (via Facebook) for spotting this clip.

Relationships 101 in scenario/action format

  1. When she stares at your mouth, kiss her
  2. When she pushes you or hits you, grab her and don’t let go
  3. When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough, kiss her and tell her you love her
  4. When she’s quiet, ask her what’s wrong
  5. When she ignores you, give her your attention
  6. When she pulls away, pull her back
  7. When you see her at her worst, tell her she’s beautiful
  8. When you see her start crying, just hold her and don’t say a word
  9. When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind
  10. When she’s scared, protect her
  11. When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
  12. When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh
  13. When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
  14. When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up
  15. When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand
  16. When she grabs at your hands, hold her’s and play with her fingers
  17. When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
  18. When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold
  19. When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does
  20. When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers
  21. When she’s mad, hug her tight and don’t let go
  22. When she says she’s okay and you don’t believe it, talk with her
  23. When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her

Bonus points

If you’re in the red with your partner pull one of these bonus points to put yourself back in her good books. Please note you may be liable for losing one or many ‘man-cards’ by attempting some of the below.

  • Treat her like she’s all that matters to you
  • Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
  • Let her know she’s important
  • Give her the world
  • Let her wear your clothes
  • Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it’s stupid
  • Stay up all night with her when she’s sick
  • Let her wear your clothes
  • Let her know she’s important
  • Kiss her in the rain

Sony Cybershot DSCT70B

After a morning’s research into a new digital still camera I have decided on the Sony Cybershot DSCT70B.

Sticking with the Sony Cybershot family I will be passing on my current DSCT50 to family so I can make the most of the DSCT70B’s bleeding-edge technology.

Touch-screen design

From the start I’ve been buzzing about touch-screen interfaces, it’s very natural to use and allows for alot of additional functionality (eg. a photo-editing package) not found in traditional button-control cameras.

Simple onscreen graphics and clears explanations, advise what functions to use and the best shooting environment in which to use them.

Seeing the DSCT product line continue to grow in popularity firmly guarantees we’ll be seeing bigger and better Sony updates.

SteadyShot

The Optical Image Stabaliser included in the DSCT70B automatically steadies shaky hands and vibrations producing sharp digital images.

Can’t argue with that, the amounts of times I’ve made use of this feature on late-night weekends has made this feature indispensible.

Smile Shutter

Press the shutter fully on the subject, and the camera automatically detects a smiling face and closes the shutter giving you perfect pictures.

Be the renouned photographer in your crew, even if it’s only you holding the camera and the DSCT70B does the rest of the work.